It happened in an instant. One careless moment, one unnoticed hand placement, and suddenly, a jolt of 220 volts surged through my body. Time seemed to stand still as my mind separated from my physical being, hovering somewhere between here and... elsewhere.
The world became muffled, distant. When the shock subsided, I was left trembling, both physically and spiritually. The sensation of being unmoored was overwhelming, as if my soul had stepped out of my body and was now watching from the corner of the room. I knew I was alive, but I didn’t feel alive.
Those first days were surreal. I moved as though underwater, my senses dulled and my thoughts scattered. It wasn’t just the physical trauma—it felt as though the electricity had triggered something deeper, dislodging emotions and memories long buried. I needed to find my way back, not only into my body but also into myself.
The Voice of a Forgotten Child
As I lay in the quiet of recovery, flashes of my childhood began surfacing—vivid, unbidden, and raw. I saw a younger version of myself, maybe six years old, sitting cross-legged on the floor, tinkering with a toy flashlight. She was so curious, so eager to understand how the world worked. But then came the voice:
"Don't touch that!"
"You're so careless."
"Why can’t you just listen?"
I realized then that the shock wasn’t just physical—it had awakened a part of me I had long ignored: my inner child, the one who had always been scolded for being curious, for breaking things, for exploring beyond the bounds of what was “safe.”
That little girl was still carrying shame, even decades later. And now, her voice was louder than ever, asking to be seen, heard, and healed.
Coming Back to Myself
I decided to approach this recovery differently—not just as a physical healing but as a spiritual one. If I wanted to feel whole again, I needed to reconnect with that curious, bold six-year-old who had been silenced for so long.
I created a sacred space in my room, lighting candles and setting out a photograph of myself as a child. Sitting cross-legged, I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, imagining that little girl sitting across from me.
“What do you want me to know?” I asked her.
She looked at me with wide, teary eyes. “You left me,” she said.
Her words hit me like another shock, but this time, the jolt came with clarity. I had abandoned her. Every time I told myself to “grow up” or ignored my creative impulses, I had pushed her further away. Every time I let fear of failure stop me from trying something new, I had silenced her voice.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to leave you.”
Healing Through Curiosity
Over the next few days, I made it my mission to honor her. I let myself tinker with things around the house—not with 220V power sources, of course, but with paints, puzzles, and old journals. I dug out forgotten boxes of art supplies and allowed myself to create without judgment, just as she would have.
As I painted, I felt her presence beside me, smiling for the first time. Each stroke of color was a reminder: It’s okay to be curious. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be you.
The Gift of the Shock
That near-death experience was terrifying, but it was also a gift. It forced me to pause, reflect, and listen to the parts of myself I had neglected. It reminded me that healing isn’t just about repairing the body—it’s about tending to the soul, nurturing the child within who still carries the wounds of the past.
Now, when I feel myself drifting, I return to that little girl. I hold her hand, reassure her, and promise never to leave her behind again. She is no longer a forgotten fragment of my past—she is my guide, my muse, and my source of unbridled joy.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from yourself, whether through trauma, stress, or the passage of time, consider this: your inner child is waiting for you, ready to lead you home. Listen to them, love them, and together, you’ll find your way back to wholeness.
Inner child healing is a transformative process that invites us to reconnect with the parts of ourselves that are often tucked away—hidden within the folds of memory, emotion, and experience. These inner children are the echoes of who we once were, holding joys, fears, dreams, and wounds. By acknowledging and nurturing these younger versions of ourselves, we not only heal past pain but also liberate our authentic, radiant essence.
In this blog, we’ll explore the process of inner child healing and how it can be uniquely approached based on the ages of your inner child.
What is Inner Child Healing?
Inner child healing is a therapeutic and spiritual practice of connecting with the childlike aspects of our psyche. It involves:
Identifying unresolved emotions or traumas.
Offering compassion, understanding, and safety to your younger self.
Releasing patterns of behavior or beliefs rooted in childhood wounds.
At its core, this practice is about integrating past experiences into the present with love and mindfulness, so that they no longer hold power over your current life.
The Ages of the Inner Child: A Journey Through Time
The age of your inner child greatly influences their needs and the healing process. Let’s look at how to work with the inner child at different developmental stages:
1. The Infant and Toddler (0–3 years)
Themes: Safety, trust, nurturing.
What they need: The infant inner child often carries early attachments and primal emotions of safety or fear. If trust was disrupted during these years, they may hold feelings of abandonment or neglect.
Healing Approach:
Engage in self-soothing practices, such as rocking yourself, humming lullabies, or wrapping yourself in a soft blanket.
Visualize holding your inner infant in a warm embrace, reassuring them, “You are safe, and I will always care for you.”
Work with affirmations like, “I am loved and supported.”
2. The Young Child (4–7 years)
Themes: Curiosity, play, and foundational identity.
What they need: At this age, the inner child may feel misunderstood or dismissed. They may need permission to express themselves freely without judgment.
Healing Approach:
Revisit activities you loved at this age, such as drawing, dancing, or playing with toys.
Create space to express emotions like frustration or joy through journaling or art.
Speak gently to your younger self: “I see you. It’s okay to feel and explore. You are important.”
3. The School-Age Child (8–12 years)
Themes: Belonging, competence, and self-worth.
What they need: The school-age inner child often holds experiences of comparison, rejection, or pressure to perform. They may feel the weight of not being “good enough.”
Healing Approach:
Write letters of encouragement to your younger self, acknowledging their efforts and resilience.
Imagine being the loving mentor you wished for, saying: “You are brilliant just as you are. You don’t need to prove your worth.”
Practice engaging in creative or intellectual hobbies with joy, not perfectionism.
4. The Teenager (13–18 years)
Themes: Independence, identity, and emotional intensity.
What they need: The teenage inner child often craves validation, understanding, and freedom. They may harbor pain from feelings of rejection or rebellion against authority.
Healing Approach:
Reflect on your teenage passions—music, fashion, writing—and let those inspire you today.
Revisit difficult moments from your adolescence and visualize offering your teenage self compassion and acceptance.
Speak to them directly: “Your feelings matter. I honor your choices, and I trust your path.”
The Healing Process: A Ritual of Connection
Connecting with your inner child can be as structured or intuitive as you like. Here’s a simple ritual to guide the process:
Create a Sacred Space: Light a candle, play soft music, and invite a sense of calm.
Meditative Connection: Close your eyes and visualize yourself at the age you wish to heal. What are they doing? What do they need?
Dialogue with Compassion: Gently ask your inner child questions:
What are you feeling?
What do you want me to know?
How can I help you feel safe and loved?
Offer Healing: Hug your inner child in your visualization or simply sit beside them with love. Assure them that you are here to protect and cherish them.
The Gifts of Inner Child Healing
Healing your inner child is not about changing the past; it’s about transforming the present. With each connection, you’ll notice:
A deeper sense of self-love and worth.
More freedom to express yourself authentically.
An ability to respond to triggers with grace, rather than reactivity.
Your inner child is a sacred part of you, carrying the wisdom of your innocence and the potential for limitless joy. By tending to them with care, you step into the fullness of your being.
Let’s walk this healing path together. If you’re ready to embrace your inner child and need guidance, know that you are not alone. My wellness practice offers tools and support to help you navigate this sacred journey. Reach out to schedule a session or learn more about how we can work together.
Amazingly well written, Dr. C, and thank you for sharing your personal story. I jumped right into reading your posts and haven't read your bio, I suspect that you are a Dr of Chiropractic medicine. That's awesome!
I'll offer two short personal experiences... at age 40 I went for a twelve week "tune up" to a chiropractor since I was a white collar desk jib worker. The first session he held my head and said he was going to "crack" it by perking it to the left. I asked "before you do that, have you ever broken a patient's neck that way?" He replied "not yet" 🤣 After the 12 weeks of treatments I felt literally 20 years younger!!
Secondly, I have been going to full body massage therapy for general stress relief every 2 to 3 weeks for the past four or so years. It has provided me with AMAZING resukts - both physical and emotional improvement. I find it essential in keeping various aches at bay (I'm nearly 70 years old). The physical touch is totally non-erotic but seems to reach an inner level of my self awareness that needs the reassurance of a trusting care giver. Inner child perhaps? I have my own theory more connected with 47 years of marriage. Although successful, there are many challenges along the way which can wear away parts of the mutual trust between spouses. In any regard, I suggest you find a great LMT and reccomend your patient's to get on a monthly routine of full body massages. It's totally worth it.
Good luck on your practice and your substack, and blessings to you and yours for a Happy New Year! 🥳